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Post by White Sox GM (Michael) on Jan 23, 2012 22:18:19 GMT -5
Introducing your new home for all the turmoil surrounding the White Sox, the Windy City Storm! Now, you can get the breaking news on White Sox fuck-ups!
*App Coming Soon to Apple Store*
---I encourage you to leave comments after my posts---
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Post by White Sox GM (Michael) on Jan 23, 2012 22:57:28 GMT -5
White Sox GM Called to the Stand!
White Sox General Manager Michael Terilli was called into court on account of Ryan Braun's steroid allegations Monday afternoon. Here is part of the prosecution:
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Prosecutor: Ryan Braun, a former player of your Chicago White Sox, yes?
Michael Terilli: Yessir.
P: So, you're familiar with Mr. Braun, correct?
MT: Of course.
P: How well did you know him?
MT: Not well enough for me to keep him on my team.
P: While he was with your team, did he ever act suspicious?
MT: Suspicious? Of what, doing Shaniqua?
P: I'm referring to the, ahem, steroid allegations.
MT: Not really. His eyes bugged outward a lot though. He also thouroughly enjoyed vanilla shakes.
P: Uh huh. So you didn't notice any other physical changes?
MT: Perhaps some acne. But his head didn't double in size, if that's what you're getting at.
P: Did you ever witness Braun coming in contact with steroids?
MT: If I say yes, can I leave?
P: No, I still have more questions.
MT: Oy, crack a window in here. Am I the only one that's shvitzin in here?
P: Let's get back on track. Do you have any knowledge on Braun in regards to illegal steroid use?
MT: Ha! Of couse I do. Where do you think all the players get their gym candy from? I get pleas from everyone to not trade them, or else they'll need to find a new dealer. But it's alright, I still hook em up when their team visits town.
P: Let me clarify...you sold Ryan Braun abd several others steroids?
MT: Fuck yeah, I did. Got a sale on D-Bol goin now. You in?
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Hopefully we will learn more about the allegations as time progresses. Until then, the Storm will be rumbling!
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Post by White Sox GM (Michael) on Jan 26, 2012 22:27:21 GMT -5
White Sox Hire New Assistant General Manager
After a tumultous 2011 season ending in a playoff exit, General Manager Michael Terilli has revamped the front office and appointed a new baseball mind to help the Sox in the future.
"I haven't learned of his full name yet," Terilli said in a press conference Thursday. "So far, he's adressed himself as 'bdrinks10'."
The move, usually a simple one, sent ripples throughout the league.
"I better start recruiting for more front office guys," Tigers GM Alex commented. "I may have signed Jose Reyes but Chicago really made the big move in acquiring bdrinks10."
"I'll sue both those bastards for my milkshake," said Athletics GM Rich, still fuming over the summer's debacle with Ryan Braun.
"LOL," chortled Marlins GM Kevin.
With an assistant like bdrinks10, we don't know what's coming next.
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Post by White Sox GM (Michael) on Feb 4, 2012 21:33:33 GMT -5
Stanton Like My Daddy Preview Released
The masterminds behind "Motherfuckin' White Sox" are back at work.
"We're not quite done yet," says Bill Conzasa, who is the chief writer and composer of Mike Stanton's tribute, which was requested by Sox GM Michael Terilli.
Conzasa claims that they aren't done with the song, but have released a sample.
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Playin' 'notha game of ball,
Hittin bout three-hundred,
What he doin, hittin homers,
What we doin, gettin money,
What they doin, hatin on us,
But they just in awe,
Right fielder for the White Sox,
Bitch, he's a boss
He be Stanton like my daddy,
Stanton like my daddy,
Stanton like my daddy,
Stanton like my daddy,
He's a young slugger,
Stanton like my daddy,
Stanton like my daddy,
Yeah, Stanton like my daddy
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Post by White Sox GM (Michael) on Jun 23, 2012 19:13:45 GMT -5
Terilli Turns Down Overseas Opportunity
When Nationals General Manager Bryan suggested co-owning a fútbol team to the Chicago GM, the answer was short, but not sweet.
"I said, 'Two words, fuck no.'"
Terilli mentioned that he was repulsed at the thought of controlling Spanish fútbol club FC Barcelona.
"First off, fútbol is not...anything described by a positive adjective. Nothing that I'd want to partake in. To add on to that, Bryan isn't exactly the world's greatest owner."
Terilli paused for a minute, repeatedly shaking his head at the thought.
Reportedly, other general managers were asked to become business partners with Bryan.
"I needed a handle of wambozzi to absord that kinda shock," Marlins GM Kevin commented. "I was unproductive for a week, but anything was better than thinking about that."
"Damnit, he was persistent," said Greg, GM of the Pirates. "I haven't said 'no' more times in my life. But hey, maybe I'll watch Bryan's team for entertainment value."
The Washington GM is yet to comment.
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